One time Hollywood super hunk and People magazines “Sexiest Man Alive” Johnny Depp has been accused of many thing’s in his sporadic career including spousal abuse, drug abuse and poor acting, but the latest accusations are grave indeed. Our trusted sources have informed piggytron.com that Mr. Depp has fallen prey to the allure of eternal life, super human strength & everlasting beauty by the most reviled creatures of the night… VAMPIRES!!!!
The public and tabloids are out for blood recently as Depp was accused of battering his long dead and under age wife “Amber Heard” ( R.I.P ) with a plastic phone. Heard was awarded 25 bones and an old green tattoo as hush money for the altercation. All of this has driven the fragile actor over the edge of darkness and into the waiting arms of evil.
Some say “Johnny Depp” is in “Johnny Deep” with Satan, or that Depp sought out the ancient vampire virus after his ex wife “Amber” infected him with H.I.V., but Johnnies penchant for dark, shady behavior stems back as far as his collection of ancient vampire tattoos! Below we have assembled a list of Johnny Depp’s most suspicious Hollywood vampire habits that coincide with this spooky theory…
– He drinks “Red Wine”, is it Blood????
– “Vampire Gang” Tattoos cataloged extensively by LAPD
– Devil Mustache
– Ancient Beads / Medalions
– He met Freddy Krueger
The most recent development is that Mr. Depp has joined parody rock band “Hollywood Vampires” as guitarist adding more fuel to the rumor that he is dating Angelina Jolie, drinking too much demon branded urine and using night time tour stops to rock out and lure prey…. Beware!!!! Hide your kids! Hide your wife!