Batman V Superman “Dawn of Justice” Trailer & Movie Review

Batman V Superman V Wonder Woman Celebrity Gossip
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Warner Brothers has had a very hard time making any of their comic book properties successful on the big screen. Lured by the recent success of Marvel Films, Time Warner Entertainment and the company formerly known as DC Comics are finally ready to unleash the Batman V Superman movie “Dawn of Justice”. Their second and possibly final gasping breath of comic book movie garbage.

After the lack luster performance of Zack Snyders’ 2013 horror film Man Of Steel, Warner Brothers pictures in their infinite wisdom felt it was appropriate to double down and return to a formula that saw the director create a “lumber jack bum” version of our greatest american superhero, a Superman who has no problem destroying half of Metropolis and doesn’t smile. Actor Henry Cavill did his best Dean Cain impersonation, but talking to an old, fat, red haired Lois Lane while reading the screenplay for Snyder’s “Sucker Punch” would have given me 1993 diarrhea too.

Lured by the recent success of Marvel Films, Time Warner Entertainment and the company formerly known as DC Comics are finally ready to unleash the Batman V Superman movie “Dawn of Justice”.

 

Ben Affleck Gigli Batman

Ben Affleck Gigli Batman

Ben Affleck’s portrayal of Gay Gigli Batman doesn’t help the situation either. He and Snyder studied Cabaret together on Broadway and brought all of that jazzy style and influence with them to create a more homo erotic kinda “300” version of the Dark Knight character… that no one asked for. Batman changes costumes several times during the 90 minute toy commercial apparently dreaming, using Facebook and peeing in Jared Leto’s Mouth all necessitate different uniforms. What stunning fashion!

The films trailer revealed so many of the action points that watching the movie held no surprises. The meeting of Bruce and Clark in civilian attire wasn’t handled well. It was rushed and lacked any real character build up. The films main action scenes between Gotham’s caped crusader and the Man of Steel were over before the seventy minute mark! The introduction of Gal Gadot’s hot sausage Wonder Woman is a “space tang bikini bottom”, but her relationships, and intervention in the final fight scene were given away prematurely making the amazon queens first appearance on the big screen less spectacular & not at all surprising. The movie should have been called Batman & Superman w/ Wonder Woman V Doomsday. Oink! Piggytron Celebrity Gossip & Entertainment News by an android pig toy.

Jessie Eisenberg is stale Dorritos. He is responsible for destroying your childhood memories!!!! Batman does not use Facebook & the REAL Jason Todd died in 1988!!!!